Apostle Paul: Paul's Theology in a Snuggie (Day 7)

The Bible reading plan comes from here. I am using the Matthew Henry's Commentary which can also be found here on BibleGateways's website (Study > More Resources > Commentaries > Matthew Henry's Commentary). Previous reflections on my study of Apostle Paul can be found by the following links: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4-5, Day 6.

Day 7: Romans 3- Paul's Theology in a Snuggie (aka: Nutshell)

I'm in awe of how many smart people are in the world. The inventor of the Snuggie is probably in the lead. Who wouldn't want to be able to move their arms while still in the comfort and warmth of a blanket?!!? Brilliant. Disclaimer: I do not own a Snuggie, nor have I ever owned one or plan to own one. Anyway, I'm more fascinated by those who use their brilliance for something much bigger than they. I've never met them, but I'm thinking about two people in particular: Solomon who was the author of my favorite book of the Bible, Ecclesiastes, and Paul who we are studying now. And, yes, I do admit that there are probably other smart people in the Bible. Jesus was pretty smart; I mean, he had the smarts to come to our dumb world. Let's save the people of the world. Even though they can never get anything right, I'm still going to give them everything I have, my life, because I love them more than they can ever understand. That's better than what the Snuggie guy ever gave to me. Defective blanket or everlasting love and grace? I'll take the latter please.

Getting back to Paul- he wrote a letter to the Romans. In one snippet of his letter he simplified the theology of salvation in an extremely understandable and profound way. If you haven't read Romans 3 yet, recently, or even in the last five minutes, you should read it now. Click on the link in the title and you'll magically have it on your screen. I don't know how the internet works; some smart person made it. For your convenience, here is Romans 3. I really want you to read it. And if you are sitting under a blanket, not wanting to move your arms to click the link, you should invest in a Snuggie.

As a reminder, I do not put myself in the same category as the smart people mentioned above, especially not the Snuggie guy. I am not trying to teach anyone, but merely recording my thoughts while I read about Apostle Paul. I always find that I learn best by reading and then writing about the topic, whether it is summarizing or picking out key points. So please don't read my post to try and learn about salvation, God, or Apostle Paul; read the Bible. The New Testament is a good place to start. Please, read my posts as a discussion with me and others. If you want to join the Snuggie guy in his elite status, a good place to start is by writing a comment. Let us know what you think. Let us know what stuck out to you as you read Romans 3. (And yes, I intentionally made that a link so that some people would take a hint.)

There is a lot of great stuff jam packed into Paul's letter, so we will take it in small sections. In Romans 3: 1-18, Paul starts off by answering questions that the Romans are pondering. And unlike the Snuggie guy, the Romans were not thinking about the pros and cons of a blanket. The questions deal with salvation, and a blanket with sleeves is far from being on the same playing field as salvation. Their first questions ask about who can receive salvation and if there are any benefits for a certain group of people. I imagine Paul being extremely enthusiastic while writing this letter; he responds to the questions with exclamatory phrases.

"What advantage, then, is there in being a Jew, or what value is there in circumcision?" The Romans were thinking that if Jews and Gentiles both are offered salvation, then what benefit was it to be Jew? While they were thinking Jews had a monopoly on salvation, Paul is saying that they were entrusted with the words of God. "The Jews had the means of salvation, but they had not the monopoly of salvation" (p. 1759). The door is open to the Gentiles as well as the Jews.

"What if some were unfaithful? Will their unfaithfulness nullify God's faithfulness?" I think this is my favorite question that Paul talks about. What I do does not change who God is! What love He has for us! I can't help but think back to middle school days, and I'm sure most of us have a similar story. Your best friend hurts your feelings, and you are so upset with them that you give them the silent treatment. You ignore them for so long that you forgot why you were ignoring them in the first place. Then you make up and share a Snuggie together, each having an arm-hole. This isn't how God works. (Although, if God had a Snuggie, I think he would share it.) God does not change who he is. "Let us abide by this principle, that God is true to every word which he has spoken. Better question the credit of all the men in the world than doubt of the faithfulness of God" (p. 1759). What security we have in God! No matter what I do, he loves me still.

"What shall we conclude then? Do we have any advantage?" My commentary restates this question very well: "Are we Christians so much better than the unbelieving part as to have merited God's grace?" (p. 1760). In Paul's words, "Not at all!" No man is better than the next. We are all under sin. "Under the guilt of sin. We are guilty before God.... God made man in the way, set him in right, but he hath forsaken it" (p. 1760). No matter how hard we try by our own means to escape the power of sin, we will fail.

In Romans 3:19-31, there are two things that Paul argues. First, "the guiltiness of man, to prove that we cannot be justified by the works of the law, and [second,] the glory of God, to prove that we must be justified by faith" (p. 1760).

The world today is obsessed with naming our own achievements. We post our accomplishments on facebook or twitter waiting for the number of likes or retweets to verify the grandeur. The Snuggie guy probably only had five retweets when he announced the Snuggie. Although technology has changed, man's mentality has not. I'm sure that ancient people snuggled under their non-snuggie blankets (is that possible?) and debated the greatness of their accomplishments. But Paul is here to wake us up and to rip the blanket from underneath of us. Pun intended. Paul says in verse 20, "Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God's sight by the works of the law, rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin." In other words, Paul is saying that "it is in vain to look for justification by the works of the law, and that it is to be had only by faith, which he lays down as the summary of his discourse" (p. 1760). In my words, a tweet that goes viral will not save anyone from their sin. No matter how well we follow rules, we are still under the power of sin. "Man, under the power of such corruption could never, by any works of his own, gain acceptance with God" (p. 1760). The corruption of sin that remains in us, in our nature, will always get in the way of being saved by works.

After saying there is nothing we can do to save ourselves, Paul needed to give hope back to the Romans. He reassured their hope through his second point: the greatness of God's glory. Romans 3:23 is an extremely widely known verse: "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". But Paul does not end his thought there. A complete thought ends with a period; verse 23 ends with a comma. Finishing the sentence and reading context matters. Romans 3:22-26 says, "This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement through the shedding of his blood-- to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished-- he did it to demonstrate his righteousness at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus." It is not grace after works that saves us, but grace and only grace. God's grace is given freely. Freely! Free like your arms in a Snuggie! Maybe the Snuggie guy was actually onto something!

God's grace is given freely. Therefore one cannot boast of innocence, especially up against the glory of God because we have all sinned. We can boast before men, but they do not know our hearts as God does. We cannot boast before God and expect salvation (p. 1760). "It is for God's glory... if we were saved by our own works, we might put the crown upon our own heads" (p. 1761). If this were the case, we might have fifty likes on our facebook status that says, "Step one complete. On my way to salvation today!" But no, it is all God. What love God has for us! God knows our limits, but because of who He is, He can breach those limits and extend His grace to us.

Paul was a wise man.

To my facebook friends: I'm sorry I lead you astray saying that this post would tell you who would win in a head-to-head battle with Apostle Paul and the Snuggie guy. I really just wanted you to read this awesome information I learned. God is so great! And Paul is pretty smart! The Snuggie guy probably just incorrectly sewed his torn blanket back together. So I have to conclude...

Apostle Paul: 1     Snuggie Guy: 0

Up Next: Apostle Paul goes head-to-head with Iron Man... I wish. That would be cool. But Paul is still pretty smart so up next- Paul on the struggle with sin (Romans 7).

Apostle Paul: Paul's Arrival in Rome (Day 6)

The Bible reading plan comes from here. I am using the Matthew Henry's Commentary which can also be found here on BibleGateways's website (Study > More Resources > Commentaries > Matthew Henry's Commentary). Previous reflections on my study of Apostle Paul can be found by the following links: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4-5.

Day 6: Acts 28- Paul Arrives in Rome

When Paul arrived on the island of Malta, he came across inhabitants of the island who were considered barbarous. They were considered barbarous people due to their nonconformity, in language and customs, to both the Greeks and the Romans. Although, Greeks and Romans "looked upon all but themselves as barbarians;" so these inhabitants were civilized in a way, "and perhaps in some cases more civil than [Greeks and Romans]" (p. 1747). Thus upon arriving, Paul was not expecting the generosity that was given.

While I was reading the commentary on this section, two sentences caught my attention: "Providence continues its care of them, and what benefits we receive by the hand of man must be acknowledged to come from the hand of God" (p. 1747), and "If our friends be kind to us, it is God that makes them so, and we must give him the glory of it" (p. 1749). I am in need of constant reminder. Often times I see my success as just that "my successes." But they are far from mine; God is the one who wills it, and I often forget this. Someone once told me that coincidences in life are not coincidences at all, but God working. Paul could have thought that it was a coincidence that they landed (remember the shipwreck in Acts 27) on this island but were not attacked by the barbarous people. It wasn't a coincidence; God was watching over them. God put these people in Paul's life to be apart of it.

Three months later, they were ready to leave Malta. Paul was not discouraged by their hardship of a shipwreck and reaching land through floating on broken pieces of the ship (Acts 27:44). He was going to push through and not let it hinder his goal of arriving in Rome; "The difficulties and discouragements we have met within our Christian course must not hinder us from pressing forward" (p. 1748). Bad events in our lives are not to bring us down and are not signs of our unfaithfulness. You learn through experiences, good or bad, and experiences shape who you are. James 1: 2-4 (My favorite verse- you should ask me about it some time) says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Long story short, Paul arrives in Rome. My commentary, again bringing my attention to what I would overlook, says, "We are here taking our leave of the history of blessed Paul. We should carefully take notice of every particular of the circumstances in which we must here leave him. It cannot but be trouble to us that we must leave him in bonds for Christ. Two whole years of that good man's life are here spent in confinement. He appealed to Ceaser, in hope of a speedy discharge from his imprisonment, and yet he is detained a prisoner. .... During these two years' imprisonment he wrote his epistles to the Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, and to Philemon" (p. 1751). Paul has come full circle; I began reading about a vengeful and hateful Saul to read about an apostle of Jesus, in bonds for Christ. God's plan for our lives is mystical to me. Who would have thought this up? Paul's life isn't some type of fairy-tale where the characters live "happily ever after." There is no doubt that all of this has God working; Paul's life is a testament to God's glory.

Up Next: Romans 3. I'm excited to learn from Paul's wisdom.

Oh The Places You'll Go.

     To do, or not to do, that is the question. Or at least I think that is the question I was asking myself several months back. I was at a crossroad, wondering whether I should take a summer job or travel... and I took the path less traveled by. Okay, maybe many people in my position would have chosen to travel, but I couldn't help myself from another cheesy line. I'll stop. This summer, I traveled to Panama for three weeks and Colorado for a week. Now I am back to real life and getting started on planning for the next school year (Yes, teachers work during the summer-- just not the 50-60ish hour weeks we have during the school year). But before I get too lost into planning, I wrote an update letter. The friend I visited in Panama, Kelsie, is a full time missionary, and every month, I proofread her letters. The tides have turned. Okay, I'll really stop now, but they really have changed. Instead of proofreading her letter, I wrote the letter! I hope you enjoy reading; I was listening to Brian Regan as I wrote it, and I hope a minuscule amount of his talent rubbed off into my writing.

June 2015

     Have you ever eaten at one of those fancy restaurants where an appetizer is the same cost as a down payment on your house? But nonetheless you spend your life savings on those crab cakes. You think to yourself, “I’m going to have an enormous mound of magnificently tasting crab cakes.” Then off in the distance you see your plate of crab cakes. They look small, but no fear, the distance is altering your perspective; it has to be. The plate is finally set in front of you, and to your dismay you just spent your entire life savings on two crab cakes the size of quarters. All you get is a tiny taste, wanting more.

     Now you are probably wondering how crab cakes relate to missionary work in Panama. If I were Kelsie, you would be wasting your time wondering because crab cakes have absolutely nothing to do with Panama. However, I am not Kelsie. I am her friend, Kristin, and I visited Kelsie and Rufino for three weeks this month. During my time with them, I had a tiny taste of their life, but I was left wanting more, hence the crab cakes. Obviously, the restaurant situation was exactly like visiting Panama. I will try to keep this update letter short and sweet, but let’s face it, Kelsie is great at summarizing what goes on down in Panama, and I am an English minor who likes to write. I have a lot to tell you about: I was able to witness Kelsie work her magic during weekly Kid’s Club, English lessons in the schools, and hosting a short term mission group.

     During Saturday morning Kid’s Club, the neighborhood kids learned about the creation story. The first week, they learned about the first three days of creation. By the next week, one would expect that the children would forget everything we said and more. After all, my students (I’m a seventh and eighth grade math teacher) forget what I said ten minutes prior. What Kelsie has said in the past is completely true; she’s not lying, and neither am I when I say that these kids are extremely enthusiastic about learning.  They recalled all they learned; so much so that they could test the teachers to see if we knew what we were talking about. One thing that I loved about them was that they were so accepting of me, the gringa. Although I don’t speak much Spanish, they would come ask me questions, and wait ten minutes for me to answer in broken Spanish. Okay, it may not have been ten minutes for me to form a sentence, but the kids were extremely patient and loving.

     Saturday evening English classes take on a parody of the UPS saying: “Rain or shine, snow or sleet we have English class.” One week it was bright, sunny and hot, and the next week it was pouring rain. The stairs across the street turned into Victoria Falls, but they were not swayed from learning and practicing English phrases. They would come up to me exuding with joy while practicing saying, “What is your name?” “How are you?” “Good evening.” “Nice to meet you.” I have yet to see the class happen during snow, but if Panama did have snow, they would, without a doubt, hold class.

     The last full week I was in Panama, we had a short term mission group come in. They were an Orthodontist team from Texas. Despite their long day of travel and overnight bus ride, the team arrived with excitement to look at many, many teeth. They visited two schools, Orilla del Rio and Higueron, over their four days in Panama. The schools shut down their usual business for the students and their families to receive dental and other health care. In addition to dental care provided by the Texas team, there was an OB/GYN, an optometrist, an also a general doctor. It was a blessing to immediately see the community’s physical needs meet while also knowing that God was using Kelsie’s team to nurture their spiritual needs by the relationships that were and are being built.

     While the orthodontist and his hygienists were busy pulling teeth, four of the Texas team members joined us with the kids. We had games, face paint, crafts, and Bible lessons planned for them. The kids absolutely loved playing soccer, or should I say futbol. There were about twenty kids playing soccer at any given time. They were ecstatic when they found out that the Texas team would give out a few balls at the end of the day. In order to stay away from a mob breaking out, we decided to host a competition. We told the kids that if they memorized the memory verse, they could have the opportunity to win a soccer ball. There was a flood of kids who went to study the words they had written on their craft. Their love of soccer gave the opportunity for the love of God to live in their hearts.

     Although my taste of Panama was quarter sized, it was unforgettable and mouthwatering satisfying. Oops, I started salivating for those crab cakes. A better adjective than mouthwatering would be delightfully. The work that is happening in Panama is without a doubt furthering God’s Kingdom. Many children are benefiting from the love given by Kelsie, Rufino, and others. They might not experience God’s love through their family members, but they are without a doubt receiving God’s infinite love from Kelsie’s team.

     Please pray for the relationships Kelsie continues to grow. Give her and others mental and physical strength to plan for the everyday as well as the many short term teams they are planning for. They have one or two teams a month coming to Panama from now until November. Praise that the Directors of the schools gave wanted English teachers, and that through teaching they can reach the kids in kids clubs. Pray that the kids continue having their excitement to learn so that they can continue learning about God’s unchanging infinite love. Praise that I had safe travels to and from Panama. Praise that the Texas team had safe travels, and prayers for the future teams to have safe travels.

     If you’ve made it this far, I want to say thank you for staying strong and reading my novel. And if you ever decide to visit Panama, I would highly suggest one unforgettable experience: wrestle an iguana, kill it, and cook it. Iguanas are delectable, especially with fried yucca and patacones. Just kidding. Don’t do that. It’s illegal, but do try fried yucca and patacones.

Until next time,

     Kristin DeKock

  

“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge –that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3: 17-19

Apostle Paul: Paul Tells His Life Story and Shipwreck on the Way to Rome (Day 4-5)

The Bible reading plan comes from here. I am using the Matthew Henry Commentary alongside my Bible (NIV). You can find my Day 1 Reflections here, Day 2 here, Day 3 here.

Day 4: Acts 26- Paul Tells His Life Story
As I have realized that sharing your testimony is a powerful part of sharing your faith, this story has become one of my favorites. However, one thing that I think I misunderstand while reading the Bible, or really any historical story, is the severity of the moment. When we read Paul's testimony, we read that while he was not a Christian, he persecuted them. Then he encountered Christ while he was traveling, and his life turned around; He began to profess truth in Christ. But Paul was not just non-Christian, he thought he was doing the right thing by persecuting Christians.

Historical Side-note I Learned:
King Aggripa was the son of Herod who killed James the apostle, and grandson of Herod the Great, under whom Christ was born (p. 1738). He was a proselyte to the Jewish religion, understood all matters relating to it better than the other Roman governors did (p. 1739). A proselyte is a person who has changed religious beliefs. So it was important for King Aggripa to listen to Paul and not just pass Paul along because he would understand Paul's testimony better than anyone else.

Paul believed that "he did God good service in persecuting those who called on the name of Jesus Christ. It is possible for those to be confident they are in the right who yet are evidently in the wrong... He was very officious [objectionably aggressive] to vote the putting of Christians to death. ...  All imaginable external objections lay against his being a Christian" (p. 1740). It would be incomprehensible for Paul to have become a Christian. Paul was without-a-doubt, unimaginably, non-Christian. Now knowing the severity of Paul's situation, why is he now a Christian? My commentary says, "He did not reason himself into Christianity, but was brought into the highest degree of an assurance of it, immediately from the highest degree of prejudice against it. ... Paul thought Jesus was buried in the earth, and, though stolen out of his own sepulchre, yet laid in some other. All the Jews were taught to say so, and therefore he is amazed to hear him speak from heaven, to see him surrounded with all this glory. This convinced him that the doctrines of Jesus were divine and heavenly, and not to be opposed, but to be cordially embraced; and this is enough to make him a Christian immediately" (p. 1740). Upon seeing Christ, all of Paul's knowledge and understanding of Jesus was flipped upside down. "His conversion in such a miraculous way was not only to himself, but to others also, a convincing proof of the truth of Christianity" (p. 1740).

Day 5: Acts 27- Shipwreck on the Way to Rome

I have to admit: I am writing this post several days after I had read this section. I no longer remember what I thought was important. But I have to remind myself that through writing this series of posts, I am not trying to teach anyone, but merely recording my thoughts. I always find that I learn best be reading and then writing about the topic, whether it is summarizing or picking out key points. So please don't read my posts to try and learn about Paul; read the Bible. Read my posts as a discussion with me. As I read my commentary, there were a few statements that got my attention, and these are what I am going to write about.

In reference to verses 12-20: "See what the wealth of this world is; the time may come when it will be a burden, not only too heavy to be carried safe of itself, but heavy enough to sink him that has it. ... Any man will rather make shipwreck of his goods than of his life, but many will rather make shipwreck of faith and a good conscience than of their goods" (p. 1745). I'm left a little speechless after reading these sentences because I realize how true it is of me. My actions while reading this series on Paul's life is the perfect example. I was planning on reading one day and writing the next; this hasn't happened, and I've made many excuses. In doing so, I've shipwrecked my faith over my goods. By spending time with people, even virtually via facebook and instagram, I've taken away time I could have been spending with God.

In reference to verses 21-44: "No storms nor tempests can hinder the communications of God's favour to his people, for he is a very present help" (p. 1745). This is probably one of my favorite things about God: no matter what I do or where I am at in life, God is always there for me. He will always hold to His promises. He will always love us (read a little about what I think about God's love for us here.) This is a huge comfort. Paul was told by an angel that his life and the lives of those with him would be spared (vs. 24). While on the boat, they were probably thinking that they were going to die. But nonetheless, verse 44 says, "The rest were to get there on planks or on other pieces of the ship. In this way everyone reached land safely," God never promised anything about the boat arriving safely. God keeps his promises, just not in the expected way.

Apostle Paul: Scenes from Paul's Missionary Journey (Day 3)

Day 3: Acts 17- Scenes from Paul's Missionary Journey

The Bible reading plan comes from here. I am using the Matthew Henry Commentary alongside my Bible (NIV). You can find my Day 1 Reflections here, and Day 2 here.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Without having a name beside that quote, you are already thinking about Gandhi. Immediately after reading this quote, I often thought to myself, "How can I change the world? I am just one person." But I think I was looking at this quote too broadly. The world could simply mean the space around you and the people near you. It doesn't have to mean the people across the world you have never met, and may never meet. I think the key take away is that wherever you are, nothing is going to change unless if you set the change into motion.

And now you are probably wondering how this relates to Paul. I think you'll understand soon enough. I cannot say it any better than my commentary does. The following is a snippet of the commentary from Acts 17: 1-9 (p. 1704).

"In one sense it is true that wherever the gospel comes in its power to any place, to any soul, it works such a change there that it may be said to turn the world upside down. The love of the world is rooted out of the heart, and the way of the world contradicted in the life; so that the world is turned upside down there. They would have it thought that the preachers of the gospel were mischief makers wherever they came. Because they persuaded people to turn from idols to the living and true God, from malice and envy to love and peace, they ware charged with turning the world upside down, when it was only the kingdom of the devil in the world that they thus overturned."

The Gospel brings change and this was Paul's mission. He set out to share that Jesus is the Christ who brings salvation. He traveled from place to place with the intent to share the good news. He turned the world upside down in the places he went. We can create mischief in the world by living for God. When we say "no" to the world, we turn the world upside down in the place we are at. With one more step, we can affect another place. We will interact with others who also have the ability to turn the world upside down. Paul met many people during his travelings (Acts 17:34), and they most likely started to turn the world upside down where they lived.

Paul probably thought, "I'm just one person. How can I change the world?" But his teachings and testimony is still being heard today. I'm not saying that we are all going to be a Paul, but I am saying we all have the ability to change something around us.

Be a mischief maker... if only to say, "Mischief Managed."

Apostle Paul: Macedonian Call and a Jailbreak (Day 2)

Day 2: Acts 16- Paul's Macedonian Call and a Jailbreak

   The Bible reading plan comes from here. I am using the Matthew Henry Commentary alongside my Bible (NIV). You can find my Day 1 Reflections here.

An Array of Things I Learned:

I did not understand why Acts 16:3 was important to the story line until I read the historical context. Acts 16:3 says, "Paul wanted to take him along on the journey, so he circumcised him because of the Jews who lived in that area, for they all knew that his father was a Greek." (NIV) I had always read the verse and glanced over it. Paul did not have Timothy circumcised because of the law; Paul was against those who made circumcision necessary for salvation. Paul was going to minister to the Jews, and Timothy's circumcision would make the ministry acceptable among the Jews (p. 1698).

My commentary made an interesting point about Acts 16:11- 15. The question behind the commentary is "Why is Lydia's conversion recorded?" I'm sure there were plenty of others who Paul, Silas, and Timothy had met. Why wasn't someone else's story recorded? Maybe someone of high power, or someone with a unique conversion? We have conversion stories, such as Paul's, that were affected by miracle. But not all conversion stories need to be ornate. Some, such as Lydia's, were brought on by ordinary methods (p. 1699).

Whenever I have read this story before, the beatings Paul and Silas went through were always overlooked. 'They were beaten and thrown in prison' was the extent of my knowledge. Granted, you aren't going to explain all the details to a little kid. But now that I'm grown up... I think I can handle it. Hold on... What mom??... No I won't clean my room!... Anyways. My commentary says, "This was one of those three times that Paul was beaten with rods, according to the Roman usage, which was not under the compassionate limitation of the number of stripes not to exceed forty, which was provided by the Jewish law. It is here said that they laid many stripes upon them (v. 23), without counting how many, one would think, this might have satiated their cruelty; if they must be whipped, surely they must be discharged. No, they are imprisoned" (p. 1700). The beating that Paul and Silas went through was severe, and that is putting it into kind terms. If they were wiped, the beating would have been limited, but Paul and Silas were beaten with rods. To follow their beating, despite one thinking this may be enough punishment, they were thrown in prison. And they weren't thrown into just any prison cell; they were thrown into the inner cell which is the deepest part of the prison.

Despite all that they went through, Paul and Silas still praised God. They prayed, sang, and witnessed to the guard. When they were released (read the Acts 16 for the full story! It's a good one.), Paul finally brought up the issue that he was a Roman citizen. One might wonder why he did not say this earlier, because it would have saved him a beating. But "Paul did not plead this before he was beaten lest he should seem to be afraid of suffering for the truth which he had preached. He had nobler things than this to comfort himself with in his affliction. He did not plead it afterwards, to put an honor upon the cause he suffered for, to let the world know that the preachers of the gospel merited better treatment. He did it likewise to mollify the magistrates towards the Christians at Philippi, and beget in the people a better opinion of the Christian religion" (p. 1702). What I gather from all of this: Paul was a brave and selfless man.

Apostle Paul: The Conversion of Saul (Day 1)

Sometimes I wonder if I lived during the time of Christ, would I follow him. Jesus was very radical for his time, and I tend to follow what I know; I don't branch out. This planted in me the desire to go back in time and put myself to the test. However, since time travel isn't extremely plausible, the second best desire was planted in my mind: I want to know the apostles on a deeper level. What were their lives like? Why did they follow Christ? What can I learn from their knowledge? Thus, the google search for Bible readings on Apostle Paul initiated. Although searching took longer than I thought, I found a two week reading plan that seemed suitable.

Two Weeks on the Life and Teachings of the Apostle Paul
Day 1: Acts 9- The Conversion of Saul
Day 2: Acts 16- Paul's Macedonian Call and a Jailbreak
Day 3: Acts 17- Scenes from Paul's Missionary Journey
Day 4: Acts 26- Paul tells His Life Story to a King
Day 5: Acts 27- Shipwreck on the way to Rome
Day 6: Acts 28- Paul's Arrival in Rome
Day 7: Romans 3- Paul's Theology in a Nutshell
Day 8: Romans 7- The Struggle with Sin
Day 9: Romans 8- Life in the Spirit
Day 10: 1 Corinthians 13- Paul's Description of Love
Day 11: 1 Corinthians 15- Thoughts of the Afterlife
Day 12: Galatians 5- Freedom in Christ
Day 13: Ephesians 3- Paul's Summary of His Mission
Day 14: Philippians 2- Imitating Christ

Along with reading the selected chapter of the Bible, I also read commentary from Matthew Henry's Commentary. This book was a Christmas gift from my brother. I always asked for different commentaries for Christmas; my brother probably was sick of me asking every year that he just bought one that had commentary over the entire Bible. He's probably thinking, "She'll finally shut up about asking for books for Christmas." I'm thinking, "Oh great, it was an easy go-to, and now I don't know what to put on my list." Anyways, I find that I learn a lot more having an outside source to pair with reading my Bible. The commentary points out phrases I would have glanced over, or cultural/historical information that is not intuitive. I would highly suggest pairing a commentary with reading your Bible; I find that my time- when I actually set aside time- and reading has become more meaningful with commentaries.

Despite the fact that this is a two week reading plan, I will probably spend more than two weeks. I want to spend some days reading, but I also want to spend time reflecting and writing what I learned. so here is where my blog posts come in-- I am intimidated to write these posts because I am by no means a theologian or philosopher who knows everything there is about Apostle Paul. What I write is simply knowledge I learned or facts which spurred my interest. If you choose to embark on this two week adventure with me, then please leave comments. I would love to learn from you as well. Without further ado...

Day 1: Acts 9- The Conversion of Saul
Whenever I thought about Saul's conversion, the memories of the pictures Sunday School teachers held up while telling the story flooded my thoughts. The picture snippets, like the one below, represented the story we were learning.

This isn't the exact picture I imagined... what is google useful
for if you can't find the exact picture from 15 years ago?!?

From a young age, I always knew that Saul was traveling in pursuit of persecuting Christians when Jesus came, and the bright light which shown around Saul and blinded him. Saul's life had changed and he began to proclaim Jesus as his Savior; with this new life came a new name: Paul. Although, I am not sure when the name change occurred. However, being able to state the summary of a story is one thing, but knowing the details is much more intriguing.

For instance. Saul killed Christians. You are probably thinking, "Oh, that is bad." But Saul was not a bad guy; he was a horrifying guy. My commentary said, "The matter of the persecution was threaenings and slaughter. There is persecution in threatenings, they terrify and break the spirit. His breathing out threatenings and slaughter intimates that it was natural to him. His very breath, like that of some venomous creatures, was pestilential. He breathed death to the Christians, wherever he came" (p. 1669). If you were like me, you would have read that and thought, "Okay. but what does pestilential mean?" I know... you were all thinking that! Pestilential comes from the word pestilence, a noun which means a deadly or virulent epidemic disease, or something that is considered harmful, destructive, or evil. Saul was not just a murder; he was a plague. Every breath he took brought death to Christians.

After Saul's encounter with Christ, I had always assumed that things were fine and dandy. Saul was a new man, and that was that. But I overlooked a key fact: Whose life is really fine and dandy? No one lives a simply perfect life. Saul had his own trials he had to face after becoming a Christian. God didn't immediately give him direction; Saul was directed to go into Damascus and wait. He was blind for three days! He was probably wondering what the heck was going on-- at one moment he was ready to kill, then he encountered Jesus, was blind and knew Jesus as his Savior, but had no idea what was going to happen next. He was in the dark-- literally, he was blind. The commentary said, "Let [Saul] consider awhile what he and done in persecuting Christ, and be deeply humbled for that, and then he shall be told what he has further to do ... He was in the dark concerning his own spiritual state, and was so wounded in spirit for sin that he could relish neither meat nor drink" (p. 1670). Saul spent those three days fasting and praying (vs. 11). Just like us today, he had no idea of the plans God had for him. Just because he had an unique encounter with Christ does not mean he had all the answers given to him.

My third misconception about Paul was that I thought when Paul became a Christian, all the other Christians accepted him and were joyful. But we cannot forget about the man of who he was- death and destruction. There was no man they were more afraid of. As Saul grew in his faith and defense of the gospel, he faced trials. His new friends did not accept him because of his past persecutions, and his old friends viewed him as a traitor (p. 1671). If I were Saul, I would have thought, "What have I gotten myself into? Are things really better? I use to have some people hate me. Now, everyone does, and they are trying to kill  me." It would be tough to go through a life altering situation, and then come out of it with what seems like no support from others. "Saul was no sooner a Christian than a preacher, no sooner a preacher than a sufferer" (p. 1672). I am beginning to look up to Paul because of his perseverance. Despite immediately being thrown into a difficult situation, he did not revert to his old ways.

Next up: Paul's Macedonian Call and a Jailbreak (Acts 16)

A Few Stolen Bases: A Reflection of My First Year Teaching

"When God is going to do something wonderful, He begins with a difficulty. If it is going to be something very wonderful, He begins with an impossibility." - Charles Inwood

I sit here, trying to figure out what I will do for the next three months of summer, but also reflecting on the past nine months of school. I'm lost in both directions. When I look forward, I see procrastination at it's finest. I have a few books I need to read, professional development to sign up for, and curriculum to adjust. It can wait until after my vacation :). However, when I look back from where I came, I am at a loss; I'm lost for words. I am in awe of what I have accomplished, humbled by my students, and grateful that God was by my side during all of it.

When I first started teaching, someone told me to write down my experiences. Little did they know that I blogged. They said that I would be surprised by what I use to think was important and what I valued enough to write down. Little did I know, they were right. I only find it appropriate to reread my blog from the first week of school. The events that happened in my classroom in the first week seemed monumental, but I now scoff at myself for thinking they were enormous issues. I took away cell phones and talked to students about their language... whoop- de-do. Those were the least of my worries; I broke up a fight during my class, vulgar language was directed towards me, angry parent calling to tell me I am a stupid ass teacher and no one likes me. The ironic part is... it was during teacher appreciation week. I am sure that there were more issues that I faced, but these are what seem monumental to me now, so these are what I remember. However, I stand by my closing statement: "It has only been one week and I feel that I have made leaps and bounds in my goal of improving my classroom management." If I grew leaps and bounds after just one week, what would... well, I don't know how many weeks were after that. I lost count on the calendar after 10. But 180 days of school divided by 5 days a week is 36 weeks. Minus 1 for the first week is 35 weeks. Look, Math! If I grew leaps and bounds after just one week, what would the other 35 weeks have in store? Am I a super hero? I am in awe of how much I improved this year. During student teaching, I was nervous to stop kids from whispering in the back of the classroom. Now, that is child's play. I am playing in the big leagues. I am by no means hitting grand slams or even home runs. I have a lot to learn, but for now a few stolen bases will do.

Side Notes: Even though my Uncle Tom does not believe I can be a scary teacher, I did have at least one student scared of me. He even had another teacher ask me if he could get help after school from me. He was too scared to do it himself... oops. After I helped him, with a smile on my face, I asked him if he was still scared of me. He blushed and said, "Kinda." Well... at least it wasn't a yes. Baby steps.

Enough about me, let's hear about my amazing students. Whenever I think about their story, they humble me. I want to start off by encouraging you click the link to read a comic. One of my friends had posted it on facebook, and I couldn't help but put faces and names in place of Paula.

I had one student in my class-- she was such a joy. Despite her situation, she made so much improvement. I am extremely proud of her. At the beginning of the year, she was in a special edu. math class and struggled to get a D in my class. Towards the end of third quarter, she made a bet with her resource math teacher that she could not get all A's. She did, but it wasn't without several hours of after school help. She continued her straight A's into fourth quarter as well. Soon enough, she was staying after school to just hang out or help me in my class. She would stay for as long as I let her. And when I left, she would see if there was another teacher still around. I'm not only proud of her for working hard to get an A, but at the end of year testing, she was one of my students who improved the most. A year's growth is shown by an increased score of 50 to 80 points. She improved her score by about 170 points. She went from a third grade level of math to a fifth grade level. Although she is still had a Level 1, Below Basic score, she is on track for soon being proficient for her grade level.

And get this- she wants to be either a math or science teacher.

I had another student who surprised me. In my opinion, he did not choose his friend group very wisely, but he never let them stop him from being successful. At the beginning of the year, he and his friends were very talkative. But once I found out what he was capable of, all I had to say was "You can do better than this" and he would get his friends to stop talking and get focused on class. It makes me sad that he will not be my student next year, but I am excited to see him in the hallways and hope that I can still encourage him to be the best he can be. Maybe I'll rope him into being my TA.

I had another student, I had lots of other students, but this one concerned me. At the end of the year, I was passing out grade checks. He had a low F in my class-- the percent was in the teens. He was never a behavior issue in class, but he showed no desire to succeed academically. All of his other grades were low Fs as well. I had asked him about staying after school, but he said he had to go home to watch his brother. I had suggested that he and his brother do homework at the same time. His response: "That won't work." He had to take care of his baby brother. I can't imagine-- being in eighth grade and taking care of a baby every day. I babysat, but never that much and I wasn't related to them! I told him that if he wanted to be my TA next year, I would let him do homework during that time. I hope he takes me up on that offer.

There was another student, who I cannot help but smile when I think of her. She really opened up to me during the last few weeks of school. She was always a hard working student and answered questions in class, but she thrived with my end of year project. I had my seventh graders produce math short stories. She and her partners worked diligently on their project. One day after school, she told me that her mom was surprised she had to do this type of project-- they never did that when she was a kid. My student continued to say that her whole family knew about this project because she kept talking about it. She thought about how to get her story to work so much that she was even dreaming about it at night! This made my day... really, my school year.

When I think about all the good times I have had with my students, I forget about the issues I faced. I know that I have accomplished things in the classroom, and  I have more to improve on, but I am nothing without my students. Something wonderful is going to come from these students. For some, what they face might seem difficult. For others, what they face will seem impossible. God has a plan for them, and I hope that God's plan of me in their lives will make an ounce of a difference. After all, a stolen base can lead to a home run.

A Teacher Sees Potential in Her Students

A few Wednesdays ago (4/15/15), I was almost in tears, and I bet that you will never guess why. Teaching has been a whirlwind experience that I have never expected. To really understand the magnitude of what happened on Wednesday, there is some backstory that I need to fill some of you in on. When I started student teaching, I couldn’t have been surer of my life path. I have always wanted to be a teacher, and I claim that this has been true since second grade. Going into ninth grade, I told people that I was going to Calvin College to become a math teacher. Without a doubt in my mind, I pursued this path, specifically expecting that I would only ever teach at a private Christian high school. I had one plan and one plan only. However, God had something else in mind. Doesn’t He always? In a blink of an eye, I began to doubt it all.  During my student teaching, I wrote journals entitled "Do I Really Want to Teach?" In one of them, I wrote, "I'm not really sure what I think about student teaching. It saddens me that I do not love it; I'm almost closer to despising it than loving it. I'm only five weeks in [to a thirteen week internship], yet I am counting down until the day I am done." My only plan was to teach at a Christian school, and when I could not see anything anymore, I did not know what was going to happen.

Through crying many tears, conversing about a variety of options, and pleading in prayer, I came a long way but still did not know what my future career was going to look like. In my last journal, I reflected on a bible story that I have heard many times, but was able to see it in a new light. Many of us can summarize the story of Peter denying Christ three times, but my devotional had the exact words I needed to hear at that time, and I cannot state it any better:

“Peter’s character would be transformed in the next few hours. Not long after promising to suffer and die with Jesus, he rejected any ties with him. Bitter tears of anguish soon followed and he escaped into the darkest night he’d ever known, ashamed of who he was. Through all of this, Peter was becoming the kind of person Christ could use to build his Church.

Why did Peter have to face such agony and remorse? Perhaps he needed to see his own resolve and ambition disintegrate. Perhaps he had committed himself to his idea of Jesus the Messiah, and needed to know Jesus’ real identity as a suffering servant. Whatever the case, this would not remain unchanged.
            Sometimes we too must face deep nights and dark heartaches to become people whom God can shape and use for his work. Perhaps our pride and our ideas are preventing us from being useful to God.
            But like Peter, if we fail Christ, we must remember that God can use those who recognize their failure. Out of his experience grew character and wisdom that would help Peter later when Christ entrusted him with stewardship of the Church.”

I can’t summarize what I reflected on any better than I said it before, so in my journal, I wrote, “I don’t know if I am reading too much into this, but I think my situation is a little bit like Peter’s. I had such a set idea for my future: I would graduate and find a job at a small Christian school. I thought for sure God would use me here. But I think my own ideas and ambitions were getting in the way of God really using me. Student teaching has, at times, made me feel lost. I did not know what I was doing. I was not in my comfort zone. I thought about quitting all together. Tears came out; many, many tears came out. But I think I needed to see my own resolve and ambition disintegrate. Now I am more open to options: I’m thinking about working at a home school company, a tutoring company, a public school, or a private school. What use to be the only thing on my list is now towards the bottom of my list. God has a plan. I cannot see it, but he is taking care of me. It may not be what I want or expected, but I am going through these trials so that I become the person who he wants me to be, someone he can use."

And boy, has he used me! Or, really, he has used my students for me. Just wait. It really gets better. There is just a little more back story to mention.

When student teaching came to a close, I decided, through advice from others, I would teach in a classroom for at least two years so that I could get a feel for classroom teaching. When I was job searching, I decided to look at all type of schools: public, private, charter.  Some humor I find in all of this is that my two job offers could not have been anymore different. One school was at a school that nine months prior I would not have passed up. The other school was one that I would have never considered in a million years. Before student teaching, I would have chosen the private Christian school without considering it twice, but something was making me unsure. The week of my job offers, I made a three page pro/con list. Yes, three pages! But it gets better. The list was organized in a table, grouped into topics, and color coated by day. Can you tell I have a systematic math brain? I did not know what to think, but everything was pointing towards the unknown. I didn’t know what it would be like to teach in a public, low income, middle school, but I felt an unknowing ease and comfort about teaching at Mound Fort. Ten minutes before I accepted my job, I came across a verse that reassured me: Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Whatever decision I was going to make, God would be with me.

Now, the back story is done. I know, there was a lot of information, but it was needed. At this point, I did not know if Mound Fort would be for me, let alone if teaching was for me. But through the unknown, I trusted that God has placed me where he wanted me to be.

I said earlier that on Wednesday I was almost in tears, and I bet that you will never guess why. Well, make your guesses now, because you will find out soon! No, I wasn’t in tears because of students. These were happy tears! Wednesday night is the night I go to bible study at my church, The Genesis Project. The question for discussion was ‘Have you ever thought about your breath from a spiritual perspective?’ Pastor Matt began talking about Genesis 2:7 and how we were created not only through the dust of the earth, but God spoke us into being. Discussions began with what it means to breath in God’s breath into our lives. Matt profoundly stated that one breath is not enough. We don’t take a deep breath on Monday morning and think to ourselves, “That was a good breath! That will last me until Wednesday!” We don’t treat our lives like this, so why do we often treat our relationship with God like this? God’s breath is the source of life and with every breath of something there needs to be an exhale.

Conversations continued; I’ll save you the reading. You’re probably scrolling down to see how much you have left to read. But we talked about what it looks like to inhale God’s breath and asked, “How do we live out the divine breath of God in our lives?” Another person at the table had answered the question and had said a statement that made me think. She said, “God sees potential in us.” Immediately, I thought about how a teacher sees potential in her students. The students may not see the potential in themselves and doubt themselves, but the teacher still sees potential. Just as we doubt ourselves, but God had great plans for us that He knows we are capable of. Without a millisecond of hesitation, I knew that I am exactly where I need to be. However, I had not, at this time, connected the pieces and considered my past struggles. I was only thinking about the small time frame of wanting to teach at Mound Fort in the future. It wasn’t until afterwards when I was explaining to a group member all my struggles that I realized the connection and began tearing up. Finally! That is why I was almost in tears. That was a difficult secret to keep!

The magnitude of God slowly working in my life overwhelmed me. Without going through the struggles I faced in student teaching, I would have never considered teaching at a public school, let alone at a school like Mound Fort. Without having considered two opposing job offers, I would not have turned away the job of my dreams to take a job in the unknown. Man, does God work in mysteries ways or not? As God continually sees potential in me, I need to continue believing that my students have potential.

While teaching I have had horrible days, yet I still need to believe in my students. I've been called names that I never would consider calling others, yet I need to stand up for my students. The respect I get from many students is smaller than a grain of sand (or at least it seems that way), but I need to expect great things from my students. Many of my students do not see the potential in themselves; I need to tell them that I believe in their potential. They feel like they amount to nothing; some have told teachers that they want to grow up to be a bum on the street or grow up and follow in the footsteps of a drug cartel leader. Despite all this, I am where I am at for a reason. Without a single doubt, I know that God has placed me here at this school because I believe that these students have potential. I was almost in tears when I realized all of this. A typical Wednesday night and I had the biggest God moment (maybe in all of my life). God reassured me that I am supposed to be at Mound Fort, that I am supposed to be a teacher. I know that I can still make a difference in their lives, even if they learn no math at all. What would life be if you saw no potential, no goals were set, and no one told you that they believe in you? Some don't believe they have a future; I am here to encourage them otherwise, to support them through the tough times.

Never believe that you amount to nothing. See potential in yourself because God sees potential in you.

Behind the Scenes

"As teachers we must believe in change, must know it is possible, or we wouldn't be teaching because education is a constant process of change, Every single time you "teach" something to someone, it is ingested, something is done with it, and a new human being emerges." ~Leo Buscaglia

Change is difficult. Change is difficult for anybody, but it must be harder when there are barriers in the way. Without a doubt, my students have difficult barriers to overcome. I want to help my students, but sometimes I feel as if I am inadequate to do anything. There is so much going on behind the scenes of their lives, so much that I am unaware of. How can I help, if I don't see it?

I can love, that is how I can help. Dictionary.com defines love as a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person and a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. The Bible explains a different love, love that is not just an emotion. Love is the foundation stone of our life. Love is the root of our being, thoughts, and actions to guide our lives. Love is a choice, not an encounter. The only way I can love as God defines love, is to love like him. My pastor recently said in a sermon that if we are fully connected to God's heart, then it becomes to beat in our chest. Then we will live like Him, act like Him, and love like Him. My love cannot help these kids, but if I love these kids with the love of God, then that love can help.

These students need love in the good times, the bad times, and the ugly times. Love can bring laughter in the good times, comfort in the hard times, and a friend in the ugly times.

The Good:

When life takes you off the lesson plan. Here are some laughs that have been in my classroom.

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I had students silently fill out a discipline form. Later that class I overheard a student talking to another student: "She needs to be happy. I wonder if she has ever tried marijuana."

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Me: What undoes a square?
Student: a circle

He thinks he so clever.

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A student responding to me saying I lost my voice: "Do you need help finding it?"

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Student: Dang, I'm out of carrots!

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Me: Label this side the hypotenuse.
Student 1: High. Pot. hahaha
Student 2: Can I draw a marijuana leaf there instead?

At least they are engaged... ??

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Student: Why are there so many tall people at this school?
Me: Why are there so many short people at this school?

If only she could go to Calvin and see real tall people.

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Student mid-sentence of answering a question: "Is that..... a spider?!?"
Me: "What?" *wide eyed, moving away from the wall behind me*
Entire class: *laughter*

In my defense, I was caught off guard. I'm not really afraid of spiders.

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Student: Have you ever been arrested?
Me: no
Student: Have you every gotten a ticket or pulled over?
Me: no
Student: You're boring.

Of all the questions, she was most concerned about these....

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I gave each of my students a Clorox wipe, and told them that the dirtiest one at the end of five minutes would win a king size candy bar.
Student: "Is this just your way of not cleaning yourself?"

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The Bad:

I've shared of some of the barriers my students face. Some students are in and out of lockup, suspended every other week, or going home to very little.

Fabio is no longer my student. He did not live in our boundaries, and since he consistently sluffed and got in trouble, he was sent to the school which he lives in the bounds for. When I discovered this, I was disappointed. Although he had many downward spirals, he did have some upturns. There were moments when he put effort towards his education, and I thought that I could continue being a positive influence. I hope that his new teachers see past the trouble he causes. I hope that they give him encouragement and support.

Andres in one of my students who came partway through the year and caused so much trouble in my classroom. He constantly talked in my class and would not follow any directions. One day the situation escalated, and as I was filling out a form for him to go the office, he muttered that he would back hand me. Obviously, I did not appreciate this and requested a suspension. He was out of my class for a week. Towards the end of his time, I saw him walking to one of his other classes, and I told him that I was looking forward to having him back in my class. He came back to my class and has been a new person. I found out that he did not take notes because he did not have a pencil; he has a pencil in my desk with his name on it now. I found out that he didn't have a place of his own at home; he has a section in my filing cabinet to put any paper he needs there. Andres has shown so much improvement. We recently started something called Flex time, where students will meet with a certain teacher for two weeks. When I was putting together my list, I was hesitant to put him in my class. I did not want any backlash, so I asked him. He said yes, and he went from knowing nothing about solving equations to being able to solve one-step equations (ex: 3x = 15 or k +8 = 16). Although the standard for eight grade is to solve multi-step equations (ex: 4(x -5) +x = 5x +5), he is making improvement. The sad thing is, that it won't show on a test score because he is too far below grade level. I hope I can help him look past this.

You probably saw one of my recent facebook posts: "nothing like starting class by standing in the middle of a fight to break it up... #thatwasnotonthelessonplan #sorrymom #adrenalinerush" Never thought that I would be in this situation, but yes, I broke up a fight. There would have been punches thrown if I did not step in. It began with words exchanged and name calling. One student stood up, encouraging the fight, and the other stood up ready to defend himself. I got in the way of the encourager, making myself big and in the way. Of course he told me to get out of the way, but I kept telling him to walk away from the situation and into the hallway. His face was shaking; he was furious. All I could think of was to be calm for him. I asked one student to get the teacher next door. By the time she came, I had the student in the hallway. The teacher helped settle my class as I walked the student to the office. I came back and class continued, like it was any other day.

The Ugly:

In the lunch room, you hear a lot of things. I'm thankful that my lunchroom does not focus negatively on our students. But I recently found out that an article in the paper was about one of our student's family. One teacher had collected all the newspapers in the school so that other students would not know about it.

Before you read the article, I want you to recall some of our students don't know what they are going home to. They don't know if there will be a drug deal going on, being evicted from their house, cops arresting their parents, and so much more. After you read the article, I want you to pray for my students. I don't know who this student is. I do not think she is one of mine. She was telling her teachers about her last day at the school, and that she would be moving to California. Pray that she and her siblings (I believe there are five) receive love and support. Here is the article.