A Few Stolen Bases: A Reflection of My First Year Teaching

"When God is going to do something wonderful, He begins with a difficulty. If it is going to be something very wonderful, He begins with an impossibility." - Charles Inwood

I sit here, trying to figure out what I will do for the next three months of summer, but also reflecting on the past nine months of school. I'm lost in both directions. When I look forward, I see procrastination at it's finest. I have a few books I need to read, professional development to sign up for, and curriculum to adjust. It can wait until after my vacation :). However, when I look back from where I came, I am at a loss; I'm lost for words. I am in awe of what I have accomplished, humbled by my students, and grateful that God was by my side during all of it.

When I first started teaching, someone told me to write down my experiences. Little did they know that I blogged. They said that I would be surprised by what I use to think was important and what I valued enough to write down. Little did I know, they were right. I only find it appropriate to reread my blog from the first week of school. The events that happened in my classroom in the first week seemed monumental, but I now scoff at myself for thinking they were enormous issues. I took away cell phones and talked to students about their language... whoop- de-do. Those were the least of my worries; I broke up a fight during my class, vulgar language was directed towards me, angry parent calling to tell me I am a stupid ass teacher and no one likes me. The ironic part is... it was during teacher appreciation week. I am sure that there were more issues that I faced, but these are what seem monumental to me now, so these are what I remember. However, I stand by my closing statement: "It has only been one week and I feel that I have made leaps and bounds in my goal of improving my classroom management." If I grew leaps and bounds after just one week, what would... well, I don't know how many weeks were after that. I lost count on the calendar after 10. But 180 days of school divided by 5 days a week is 36 weeks. Minus 1 for the first week is 35 weeks. Look, Math! If I grew leaps and bounds after just one week, what would the other 35 weeks have in store? Am I a super hero? I am in awe of how much I improved this year. During student teaching, I was nervous to stop kids from whispering in the back of the classroom. Now, that is child's play. I am playing in the big leagues. I am by no means hitting grand slams or even home runs. I have a lot to learn, but for now a few stolen bases will do.

Side Notes: Even though my Uncle Tom does not believe I can be a scary teacher, I did have at least one student scared of me. He even had another teacher ask me if he could get help after school from me. He was too scared to do it himself... oops. After I helped him, with a smile on my face, I asked him if he was still scared of me. He blushed and said, "Kinda." Well... at least it wasn't a yes. Baby steps.

Enough about me, let's hear about my amazing students. Whenever I think about their story, they humble me. I want to start off by encouraging you click the link to read a comic. One of my friends had posted it on facebook, and I couldn't help but put faces and names in place of Paula.

I had one student in my class-- she was such a joy. Despite her situation, she made so much improvement. I am extremely proud of her. At the beginning of the year, she was in a special edu. math class and struggled to get a D in my class. Towards the end of third quarter, she made a bet with her resource math teacher that she could not get all A's. She did, but it wasn't without several hours of after school help. She continued her straight A's into fourth quarter as well. Soon enough, she was staying after school to just hang out or help me in my class. She would stay for as long as I let her. And when I left, she would see if there was another teacher still around. I'm not only proud of her for working hard to get an A, but at the end of year testing, she was one of my students who improved the most. A year's growth is shown by an increased score of 50 to 80 points. She improved her score by about 170 points. She went from a third grade level of math to a fifth grade level. Although she is still had a Level 1, Below Basic score, she is on track for soon being proficient for her grade level.

And get this- she wants to be either a math or science teacher.

I had another student who surprised me. In my opinion, he did not choose his friend group very wisely, but he never let them stop him from being successful. At the beginning of the year, he and his friends were very talkative. But once I found out what he was capable of, all I had to say was "You can do better than this" and he would get his friends to stop talking and get focused on class. It makes me sad that he will not be my student next year, but I am excited to see him in the hallways and hope that I can still encourage him to be the best he can be. Maybe I'll rope him into being my TA.

I had another student, I had lots of other students, but this one concerned me. At the end of the year, I was passing out grade checks. He had a low F in my class-- the percent was in the teens. He was never a behavior issue in class, but he showed no desire to succeed academically. All of his other grades were low Fs as well. I had asked him about staying after school, but he said he had to go home to watch his brother. I had suggested that he and his brother do homework at the same time. His response: "That won't work." He had to take care of his baby brother. I can't imagine-- being in eighth grade and taking care of a baby every day. I babysat, but never that much and I wasn't related to them! I told him that if he wanted to be my TA next year, I would let him do homework during that time. I hope he takes me up on that offer.

There was another student, who I cannot help but smile when I think of her. She really opened up to me during the last few weeks of school. She was always a hard working student and answered questions in class, but she thrived with my end of year project. I had my seventh graders produce math short stories. She and her partners worked diligently on their project. One day after school, she told me that her mom was surprised she had to do this type of project-- they never did that when she was a kid. My student continued to say that her whole family knew about this project because she kept talking about it. She thought about how to get her story to work so much that she was even dreaming about it at night! This made my day... really, my school year.

When I think about all the good times I have had with my students, I forget about the issues I faced. I know that I have accomplished things in the classroom, and  I have more to improve on, but I am nothing without my students. Something wonderful is going to come from these students. For some, what they face might seem difficult. For others, what they face will seem impossible. God has a plan for them, and I hope that God's plan of me in their lives will make an ounce of a difference. After all, a stolen base can lead to a home run.

A Teacher Sees Potential in Her Students

A few Wednesdays ago (4/15/15), I was almost in tears, and I bet that you will never guess why. Teaching has been a whirlwind experience that I have never expected. To really understand the magnitude of what happened on Wednesday, there is some backstory that I need to fill some of you in on. When I started student teaching, I couldn’t have been surer of my life path. I have always wanted to be a teacher, and I claim that this has been true since second grade. Going into ninth grade, I told people that I was going to Calvin College to become a math teacher. Without a doubt in my mind, I pursued this path, specifically expecting that I would only ever teach at a private Christian high school. I had one plan and one plan only. However, God had something else in mind. Doesn’t He always? In a blink of an eye, I began to doubt it all.  During my student teaching, I wrote journals entitled "Do I Really Want to Teach?" In one of them, I wrote, "I'm not really sure what I think about student teaching. It saddens me that I do not love it; I'm almost closer to despising it than loving it. I'm only five weeks in [to a thirteen week internship], yet I am counting down until the day I am done." My only plan was to teach at a Christian school, and when I could not see anything anymore, I did not know what was going to happen.

Through crying many tears, conversing about a variety of options, and pleading in prayer, I came a long way but still did not know what my future career was going to look like. In my last journal, I reflected on a bible story that I have heard many times, but was able to see it in a new light. Many of us can summarize the story of Peter denying Christ three times, but my devotional had the exact words I needed to hear at that time, and I cannot state it any better:

“Peter’s character would be transformed in the next few hours. Not long after promising to suffer and die with Jesus, he rejected any ties with him. Bitter tears of anguish soon followed and he escaped into the darkest night he’d ever known, ashamed of who he was. Through all of this, Peter was becoming the kind of person Christ could use to build his Church.

Why did Peter have to face such agony and remorse? Perhaps he needed to see his own resolve and ambition disintegrate. Perhaps he had committed himself to his idea of Jesus the Messiah, and needed to know Jesus’ real identity as a suffering servant. Whatever the case, this would not remain unchanged.
            Sometimes we too must face deep nights and dark heartaches to become people whom God can shape and use for his work. Perhaps our pride and our ideas are preventing us from being useful to God.
            But like Peter, if we fail Christ, we must remember that God can use those who recognize their failure. Out of his experience grew character and wisdom that would help Peter later when Christ entrusted him with stewardship of the Church.”

I can’t summarize what I reflected on any better than I said it before, so in my journal, I wrote, “I don’t know if I am reading too much into this, but I think my situation is a little bit like Peter’s. I had such a set idea for my future: I would graduate and find a job at a small Christian school. I thought for sure God would use me here. But I think my own ideas and ambitions were getting in the way of God really using me. Student teaching has, at times, made me feel lost. I did not know what I was doing. I was not in my comfort zone. I thought about quitting all together. Tears came out; many, many tears came out. But I think I needed to see my own resolve and ambition disintegrate. Now I am more open to options: I’m thinking about working at a home school company, a tutoring company, a public school, or a private school. What use to be the only thing on my list is now towards the bottom of my list. God has a plan. I cannot see it, but he is taking care of me. It may not be what I want or expected, but I am going through these trials so that I become the person who he wants me to be, someone he can use."

And boy, has he used me! Or, really, he has used my students for me. Just wait. It really gets better. There is just a little more back story to mention.

When student teaching came to a close, I decided, through advice from others, I would teach in a classroom for at least two years so that I could get a feel for classroom teaching. When I was job searching, I decided to look at all type of schools: public, private, charter.  Some humor I find in all of this is that my two job offers could not have been anymore different. One school was at a school that nine months prior I would not have passed up. The other school was one that I would have never considered in a million years. Before student teaching, I would have chosen the private Christian school without considering it twice, but something was making me unsure. The week of my job offers, I made a three page pro/con list. Yes, three pages! But it gets better. The list was organized in a table, grouped into topics, and color coated by day. Can you tell I have a systematic math brain? I did not know what to think, but everything was pointing towards the unknown. I didn’t know what it would be like to teach in a public, low income, middle school, but I felt an unknowing ease and comfort about teaching at Mound Fort. Ten minutes before I accepted my job, I came across a verse that reassured me: Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Whatever decision I was going to make, God would be with me.

Now, the back story is done. I know, there was a lot of information, but it was needed. At this point, I did not know if Mound Fort would be for me, let alone if teaching was for me. But through the unknown, I trusted that God has placed me where he wanted me to be.

I said earlier that on Wednesday I was almost in tears, and I bet that you will never guess why. Well, make your guesses now, because you will find out soon! No, I wasn’t in tears because of students. These were happy tears! Wednesday night is the night I go to bible study at my church, The Genesis Project. The question for discussion was ‘Have you ever thought about your breath from a spiritual perspective?’ Pastor Matt began talking about Genesis 2:7 and how we were created not only through the dust of the earth, but God spoke us into being. Discussions began with what it means to breath in God’s breath into our lives. Matt profoundly stated that one breath is not enough. We don’t take a deep breath on Monday morning and think to ourselves, “That was a good breath! That will last me until Wednesday!” We don’t treat our lives like this, so why do we often treat our relationship with God like this? God’s breath is the source of life and with every breath of something there needs to be an exhale.

Conversations continued; I’ll save you the reading. You’re probably scrolling down to see how much you have left to read. But we talked about what it looks like to inhale God’s breath and asked, “How do we live out the divine breath of God in our lives?” Another person at the table had answered the question and had said a statement that made me think. She said, “God sees potential in us.” Immediately, I thought about how a teacher sees potential in her students. The students may not see the potential in themselves and doubt themselves, but the teacher still sees potential. Just as we doubt ourselves, but God had great plans for us that He knows we are capable of. Without a millisecond of hesitation, I knew that I am exactly where I need to be. However, I had not, at this time, connected the pieces and considered my past struggles. I was only thinking about the small time frame of wanting to teach at Mound Fort in the future. It wasn’t until afterwards when I was explaining to a group member all my struggles that I realized the connection and began tearing up. Finally! That is why I was almost in tears. That was a difficult secret to keep!

The magnitude of God slowly working in my life overwhelmed me. Without going through the struggles I faced in student teaching, I would have never considered teaching at a public school, let alone at a school like Mound Fort. Without having considered two opposing job offers, I would not have turned away the job of my dreams to take a job in the unknown. Man, does God work in mysteries ways or not? As God continually sees potential in me, I need to continue believing that my students have potential.

While teaching I have had horrible days, yet I still need to believe in my students. I've been called names that I never would consider calling others, yet I need to stand up for my students. The respect I get from many students is smaller than a grain of sand (or at least it seems that way), but I need to expect great things from my students. Many of my students do not see the potential in themselves; I need to tell them that I believe in their potential. They feel like they amount to nothing; some have told teachers that they want to grow up to be a bum on the street or grow up and follow in the footsteps of a drug cartel leader. Despite all this, I am where I am at for a reason. Without a single doubt, I know that God has placed me here at this school because I believe that these students have potential. I was almost in tears when I realized all of this. A typical Wednesday night and I had the biggest God moment (maybe in all of my life). God reassured me that I am supposed to be at Mound Fort, that I am supposed to be a teacher. I know that I can still make a difference in their lives, even if they learn no math at all. What would life be if you saw no potential, no goals were set, and no one told you that they believe in you? Some don't believe they have a future; I am here to encourage them otherwise, to support them through the tough times.

Never believe that you amount to nothing. See potential in yourself because God sees potential in you.

Behind the Scenes

"As teachers we must believe in change, must know it is possible, or we wouldn't be teaching because education is a constant process of change, Every single time you "teach" something to someone, it is ingested, something is done with it, and a new human being emerges." ~Leo Buscaglia

Change is difficult. Change is difficult for anybody, but it must be harder when there are barriers in the way. Without a doubt, my students have difficult barriers to overcome. I want to help my students, but sometimes I feel as if I am inadequate to do anything. There is so much going on behind the scenes of their lives, so much that I am unaware of. How can I help, if I don't see it?

I can love, that is how I can help. Dictionary.com defines love as a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person and a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. The Bible explains a different love, love that is not just an emotion. Love is the foundation stone of our life. Love is the root of our being, thoughts, and actions to guide our lives. Love is a choice, not an encounter. The only way I can love as God defines love, is to love like him. My pastor recently said in a sermon that if we are fully connected to God's heart, then it becomes to beat in our chest. Then we will live like Him, act like Him, and love like Him. My love cannot help these kids, but if I love these kids with the love of God, then that love can help.

These students need love in the good times, the bad times, and the ugly times. Love can bring laughter in the good times, comfort in the hard times, and a friend in the ugly times.

The Good:

When life takes you off the lesson plan. Here are some laughs that have been in my classroom.

----------------------------------

I had students silently fill out a discipline form. Later that class I overheard a student talking to another student: "She needs to be happy. I wonder if she has ever tried marijuana."

----------------------------------

Me: What undoes a square?
Student: a circle

He thinks he so clever.

----------------------------------

A student responding to me saying I lost my voice: "Do you need help finding it?"

----------------------------------

Student: Dang, I'm out of carrots!

----------------------------------

Me: Label this side the hypotenuse.
Student 1: High. Pot. hahaha
Student 2: Can I draw a marijuana leaf there instead?

At least they are engaged... ??

----------------------------------

Student: Why are there so many tall people at this school?
Me: Why are there so many short people at this school?

If only she could go to Calvin and see real tall people.

----------------------------------

Student mid-sentence of answering a question: "Is that..... a spider?!?"
Me: "What?" *wide eyed, moving away from the wall behind me*
Entire class: *laughter*

In my defense, I was caught off guard. I'm not really afraid of spiders.

----------------------------------

Student: Have you ever been arrested?
Me: no
Student: Have you every gotten a ticket or pulled over?
Me: no
Student: You're boring.

Of all the questions, she was most concerned about these....

----------------------------------

I gave each of my students a Clorox wipe, and told them that the dirtiest one at the end of five minutes would win a king size candy bar.
Student: "Is this just your way of not cleaning yourself?"

----------------------------------

The Bad:

I've shared of some of the barriers my students face. Some students are in and out of lockup, suspended every other week, or going home to very little.

Fabio is no longer my student. He did not live in our boundaries, and since he consistently sluffed and got in trouble, he was sent to the school which he lives in the bounds for. When I discovered this, I was disappointed. Although he had many downward spirals, he did have some upturns. There were moments when he put effort towards his education, and I thought that I could continue being a positive influence. I hope that his new teachers see past the trouble he causes. I hope that they give him encouragement and support.

Andres in one of my students who came partway through the year and caused so much trouble in my classroom. He constantly talked in my class and would not follow any directions. One day the situation escalated, and as I was filling out a form for him to go the office, he muttered that he would back hand me. Obviously, I did not appreciate this and requested a suspension. He was out of my class for a week. Towards the end of his time, I saw him walking to one of his other classes, and I told him that I was looking forward to having him back in my class. He came back to my class and has been a new person. I found out that he did not take notes because he did not have a pencil; he has a pencil in my desk with his name on it now. I found out that he didn't have a place of his own at home; he has a section in my filing cabinet to put any paper he needs there. Andres has shown so much improvement. We recently started something called Flex time, where students will meet with a certain teacher for two weeks. When I was putting together my list, I was hesitant to put him in my class. I did not want any backlash, so I asked him. He said yes, and he went from knowing nothing about solving equations to being able to solve one-step equations (ex: 3x = 15 or k +8 = 16). Although the standard for eight grade is to solve multi-step equations (ex: 4(x -5) +x = 5x +5), he is making improvement. The sad thing is, that it won't show on a test score because he is too far below grade level. I hope I can help him look past this.

You probably saw one of my recent facebook posts: "nothing like starting class by standing in the middle of a fight to break it up... #thatwasnotonthelessonplan #sorrymom #adrenalinerush" Never thought that I would be in this situation, but yes, I broke up a fight. There would have been punches thrown if I did not step in. It began with words exchanged and name calling. One student stood up, encouraging the fight, and the other stood up ready to defend himself. I got in the way of the encourager, making myself big and in the way. Of course he told me to get out of the way, but I kept telling him to walk away from the situation and into the hallway. His face was shaking; he was furious. All I could think of was to be calm for him. I asked one student to get the teacher next door. By the time she came, I had the student in the hallway. The teacher helped settle my class as I walked the student to the office. I came back and class continued, like it was any other day.

The Ugly:

In the lunch room, you hear a lot of things. I'm thankful that my lunchroom does not focus negatively on our students. But I recently found out that an article in the paper was about one of our student's family. One teacher had collected all the newspapers in the school so that other students would not know about it.

Before you read the article, I want you to recall some of our students don't know what they are going home to. They don't know if there will be a drug deal going on, being evicted from their house, cops arresting their parents, and so much more. After you read the article, I want you to pray for my students. I don't know who this student is. I do not think she is one of mine. She was telling her teachers about her last day at the school, and that she would be moving to California. Pray that she and her siblings (I believe there are five) receive love and support. Here is the article.

Your Mind is your Biggest Opponent

A couple of weeks ago, I talked about Fabio and how he had been growing leaps and bounds. Well, he went in a downward spiral. He reverted back to not wanting to be in my class and tuning out. Today, he walked out of my class because, as I thought, he didn't want to be there. Later I learned that he went to the counselor to "cool" off. After talking to the counselor to understand what is going on with Fabio, I decided to write him a letter which his counselor will give to him.

Fabio-
With all that happened yesterday, I just wanted to get on the same page as you. I remember you saying that I did not want you in my class. I wanted to let you know that I believe the exact opposite. I love having you in my class because I remember the level of brilliance you are capable of. Remember that one week when you were begging to answer my questions? When you put your mind to it, you can be the top of your class. But that is the thing- you have to put your mind to it. My volleyball coach once told me that my mind is my biggest opponent. So I'm telling you now- your mind is your biggest opponent; don't let it overcome you. Don't let a bad grade or test bring you down. Don't let your mind tell you that you aren't capable, because you are. Don't let your negative thoughts rule you; remember the positives. Always.
You're probably thinking, "Ms. DK, this is all great, but how can I use it in school? In your class?" Here's how: remember when you were doing great in class, but totally bombed that test? What if we did quiz corrections? Don't let the bad score get to you because you can do these problems. Look at your mistakes and learn from them Take advantage of doing the quiz corrections. Take time to do your homework packet. By taking these steps, I know that you could have an A or B in my class- and I bet others too.
Fabio- you've got a good brain in your head. Don't let yourself focus on the negative. You are capable of so much. I wouldn't write this to you if I didn't fully believe that you are.

Ms. DK

P.S. Do the quiz corrections!! Really, man, I'm not trying to trick you. Do them. :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't think I have ever been so positive in my life! But I'm really excited to see how Fabio will grow. I don't want a bad test score to be a set back. Although he can cause a major distraction, I keep seeing the best in him because I have seen it before. I'm hoping that this letter will put him back on the upward climb.

This is Why I Teach.

I was recently on pinterest (no, I was not procrastinating. maybe), and I found this picture. I thought to myself: STORY. OF. MY. LIFE. There is not a day that goes by that I do not ask students to be quiet. In fact, there is not a class, there is not an hour, there are not five minutes that goes by that I do not ask students to be quiet. All I want to do is say, "Shut up" and slap a piece of duck tape on their mouths. However, this idea probably isn't legal. I told my students that they couldn't say shut up in my classroom, so I guess I shouldn't either. I suppose that I need a plan B to classroom management. But don't worry, not only have I had plan B, but I've had C and D. I've probably even had plan P and Q. I have changed ideas and implemented new ones so many times that I have lost track.  But who wants to read about classroom management. Let's talk about what really matters: the kids.

I have this one student, let's call him Fabio, who has gotten to my heart. At the beginning of the year, we had a tough test to take. After the first two problems, Fabio had given up. I thought I had made a connection when I encouraged him to finish the test, but the next week he turned away. He wouldn't try anymore; he wouldn't follow my directions. He would put in his headphones and zone out. He was put on a tracker so that the counselors could track his behavior. At the end of every class, I rate his behavior on a scale of 0 to 2. There are categories such as being prepared for class, following directions, allowing others to learn, and giving your best effort.  I typically would give him 0s or 1s. Thursday was a different story. He was eager to answer every question. After he got one question right, nothing could stop him. At the end of class, he was extremely eager for me to fill out his tracker. I considered filling out his tracker with all 2s, but this wouldn't properly show his outstanding participation. I made a new column: 3. I folded the tracker up and gave it back to him. With a smile on my face, I told him, "I don't know if I'm aloud to do that, but I did anyway." With curiosity, Fabio unfolded his tracker, saw the 3s and a smile swept over his face. I will never forget that sight. Never.

Thinking back on this situation, I tear up. This is why I teach: for Fabio. I don't want to be anywhere else.

Shooting for Improvement

"What the teacher is, is more important than what he teaches." ~Karl Menninger

I haven't written anything lately because there isn't too much new. I'm still getting the swing of things, and seeing what works and what doesn't.

With some recently released test results (The SAGE Test) Ogden has been placed as the lowest Utah district. My school was the lowest, especially in math, in the district. Because of these results, our district is pushing for improvement through interventions. If you want to look at the SAGE results, here they are: https://datagateway.schools.utah.gov/SAGE. Or if you google anything about Utah Sage Results, I'm sure you'll find some information about Ogden and our superintendent talking about our struggles.

First off, we are looking into implementing something called the Token Economy. Students would earn points and at the end of the semester, they would be able to buy a prize with the points that they earned. This is still in the planning stages. A struggle that we have is that the Token Economy will have to rely heavily off of donations. We have some money for it, but since our school doesn't have a lot of funds, then we will be going to local business to ask if they would donate rewards for our students. If you have any ideas of rewards that middle school students would enjoy, please share! Or if you would like to help out in any way, we'd accept it gladly. Just let me know.

Secondly, we have implemented a bell work activity that every single math student, 7th through 9th grade, is doing. For the first five minutes of class, students practice math facts. These fifteen minutes (I teach three classes a day) are the most blissful time of my day! It is unbelievably quiet in my classroom! Each student has seventy problems in front of them every day. Students work their way through addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division pages. The whole goal of this practice is to shoot for improvement. Yes, you may be thinking that this is something that you did in second or third grade, but our students need it. We started this week, and so far, they have been doing great. Many have pasted the addition, some are stuck on subtraction, and others have flown to multiplication. I'm excited to see how this repetition will help the students, and where I can help them most (some students still are drawing dots to help them with the subtraction problems). If students are unable to do simple math problems, how can they have fluency on pre-algebra topics? I'm excited to see what data we get get from doing this math facts practice.

At this point in time, you may be wondering why I wrote the quote at the top. If you weren't wondering, I'm sure you are now! I wrote the quote because sometimes I get discouraged. I fight so hard for these kids. I want to teach the best lesson that I can, so that they can have the best opportunity of success. But then these results come out. And yes, I know the SAGE results were from last year, but I still get discouraging results on my tests. I have some students who put in so much effort to get F's. Many don't even take out a pencil and paper to take notes. And yes, I do provide these materials if they forget them. They still don't use the material I provide. Another student will have his book on his desk, but not open it. I have to tell him to open his book. He'll open to a random page. Then I have to stand there until he opens the book to the correct page. One student consistently tells me that he won't do anything I ask. He even purposefully got a zero on a test. When I asked him to take notes, he of course said no. In the course of our conversation I said, "I have more faith in you, then you do in yourself." His response: "That was your first mistake." This breaks my heart. I want to help these kids so much. Who I am going to be for these students will be much more than anything I can teach them.

Today's Humor: Oh the joys of Halloween. Students can't focus. Students think they should have no homework. Students say the darnedest things.

Today in class-
Student 1: "What are you dressing up as?"
Student 2: "You should be a witch."
Me: I gave him the teacher glare.
Entire class laughs
Student 2: "I mean a nice witch!"
Student 3: "You'd be a good witch. You're tall."
Apparently, witches are tall. Good to know.

In a different class-
Student 1: "What are your plans for Halloween?"
Before I can get out any answer, Student 2 says "She's probably a loner."
Me: Gasp. "No, I'm hanging out with friends."
Entire Class erupted in laughter...

Oh, the joys of students thinking you don't have a social life. I even have proof. This week I carved a minion pumpkin. SEE!

Until next time...

A Nerd in Disguise

If you asked me how I was doing on Thursday at 11:30am, I would have said I was having the ABSOLUTE worst possible day. My day was exhausting, and the students were frustrating. After my students left, I started to tear up. I couldn't even sit at lunch without tearing up. It was that kind of day. However, if you would have asked me at 3:05pm, I would have had a smile on my face, and you would have never known my day was that bad. In fact, you might even think that it was one of my best days thus far. It is surprising how one class can make such a difference in a day- for the better or for the worse.

Now, I had some big plans for this blog post. I was going to talk about my adventures of Thursday. However, life got the best of me, and I haven't been able to write the post until now- Tuesday. I'm sitting here, trying to think what details I wanted to include in this amazing blog post, but I can only think the aftermath of the situation. When I am reflecting about Thursday, the events which come to mind are the ones in which I received support. I'm very thankful for my aid in the classroom; I would not survive that class without her extra support. She knows the kids from last year, and she takes a lot of the reigns for taking students out of the class for discipline. I am also extremely thankful for my principal. After school she helped calm my nerves about calling home- she even called some of the parents so I could see an example. Many teachers also encouraged me by helping me see that my lesson did not fail because of me. One of the most difficult things about teaching here is that sometimes I cannot get through the necessary material due to stopping every two minutes to tell my kids to stop talking. Lastly, I am thankful for how God reminds me that I am right where I am suppose to be. On Thursday night, I went to a Bible study where we talked about what the fear of the Lord was. In a previous study, they had talked about fearing the Lord as looking at an event with the perspective that God has. Proverbs 9:10 says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, so looking at a situation through God's perspective is the beginning of wisdom. During the conversations, I kept thinking about how I made my decision to teach here. We also talked about how sometimes fearing the Lord is not always knowing why, but trusting God that His wisdom is the right path. Sometimes I wonder why I chose to teach here. Many students don't even attempt to do homework. They are blatant about not caring about their education. Some students don't have the best home to go to. They have other things to worry about-- things that kids their age shouldn't have to deal with. I receive back talk every day. I correct inappropriate language everyday. I could have accepted a job where the majority of my students would have completed their homework. I could have accepted a job where the class sizes were small, and I wouldn't have to deal with the discipline as much. But I didn't; I chose Ogden. Although I sometimes wonder what I could have had, I know that I am in the right place. I made my decision knowing that God was in support of me. Sometimes I don't know why this is the right place, but I trust God.

Despite the horrible quality of Thursday's events, I am truly thankful for the support I received. I know I am suppose to be teaching at my school. I know that despite many discipline issues my students are -deep down there somewhere- good kids (some more deep down than others). I just hope that with time, my difficult class will realize that I do mean business, and that if they follow what I ask them to do, then we can have some fun.

On a different note, students can sometimes be deceiving. And I'm not talking about lying about why homework isn't done. I'm talking about students being confusing people. There is this one student who CAN NOT stop talking in one of my classes. I get on his case EVERY DAY! I thought he absolutely hated me for how much I talked to him about his behavior. But today in the hallway, he told me he wished he had my class next instead of the one he had. With a confused look on my face, I said, "Why? It thought you didn't like my class." In response, he told me that my class was the funnest (I'm just saying what he said) and his best class. This brightened my day.

On yet another note, check out the view from my door! When I took this picture, I was in awe of how beautiful the mountains were this day. The colors, the sky-I felt as if I were in a painting.

Humor of the week:
Scenario 1: Talking to a student who I find is difficult to get engaged in the lesson.
Student: "Look, Ms. DK, I'm doing the problems!"
Me: "That's what I like to see. You should do that more often."
Student: "It's because I'm a nerd."
Me: "What makes you a nerd?"
Student: "I'm wearing glasses." (He was wearing another student's glasses.)
Me: "So what is someone who wears contacts?"
Student: "A nerd in disguise."

Scenario 2: Beginning of class and about to tell them about a quiz later that hour.
Me: "The bell has rung. Before we start bell work, I need to tell you guys something."
Student: "Are you getting married?!"
Me: "What? No, Why do you say that?"
Student: "Mr. Tutt told us that."
Me: laughing "No. My announcement was our agenda. You have a quiz later today."